Stay Alive

Cast: Jon Foster, Samaire Armstrong, Frankie Muniz, Sophia Bush
Plot: One night, a man, Loomis (Milo Ventimiglia), dies while playing a video game, called Stay Alive, hence the name of the movie. His two friends in the house are killed as well. One of his friends, Hutch (Jon Foster), uses the stupid horror movie logic and plays the game, along with 5 of his friends. First, the one of his friends, Miller (Adam Goldberg), that wasn't actually with them when they played (he played online) is murdered. Exactly the same way as in the game.

Since both of the murders were exactly as in the game, Hutch decides to think. It takes him a while. He decides that maybe the game has something to do with it. Then, October's (Sophia Bush) brother, Phineus (Jimmi Simpson), dies exactly as he did in the game. Where've I heard that before? Uhh, twice in the past 30 minutes? Anyway, Hutch decides to think again. This time Swink (Frankie Muniz) helps. They decide that you don't get killed unless you die in the game, which might be the reason it's called Stay Alive. That means they shouldn't play any more. And they realize that the prayer they have to chant to start the game is what's causing all this death. It's awakening Elizabeth Bathory / The Blood Countress, a weird 1700's killer woman. And she's scary as hell.

Well, not playing doesn't work. The game starts playing itself. And October gets whooped up on and dies. Exactly the same as she did in the game. Ok, that's getting annoying now that I've said it 3 times. ANYWAY! Swink starts playing the game again so they don't die, while Hutch and Abagail (Samaire Armstrong) go into the Blood Countress's house and try to kill her. Well, after a while of odd things, and Swink dying, they kill her. Then Swink magically comes back to life as if he never died. And everyone lives happily ever after. That ending gets me every time :'-(.

What I thought: It sucked. Really, really, really bad. Worst movie of the year. Seriously, it's rare I don't like movies this much. I'll start explaining it. The acting sucked. The main character who was losing all his friends and was supposed to be sad never cried once. The best actress was the one who played October. She was actually pretty good. The story was really bad too. I mean, it could have been good if they worked on it, but it was way too predictable the way it was. The special effects sucked ass. The dialogue was the same lines repeated about 500 times over during the movie. I can't believe this happening! 500 TIMES! Probably most importantly is that it wasn't scary. Except for Elizabeth. Also, there were about a thousand questions unanswered:
1: Who made the game?
2: Where'd Abagail come from? She like popped up at the beginning of the movie and Hutch was immediately her best friend, and no backstory was given at all.
3: At the end of the movie, why is the game for sale at the video game store after Elizabeth was dead?
I don't know, but I do know it officially sucked. The only 3 good things I can say are that October was played by a good actress, that Elizabeth was one scary bitch, and that the Alienware notebook was great at acting. It played its role as a mirror perfectly. It's amazing how that thing can play so many roles so well. I mean, gaming computer, typewriter, mirror, chair. Actor of the year. Right there. It gets 1.5 out of 5. And that's because I'm in a good mood.

See it/Rent it/Run away from it: Don't see this movie. Don't rent it. Don't look at it. Don't TOUCH it. As a matter of fact, throw it. In front of a very fast train. Final verdict: Run away from it.

-Ton